After a very long summer of running everywhere, I finally have been able to have coffee Thursday. Coffee Thursday is when I take the morning to work in a coffee shop. It's a weekly tradition that summer schedule greatly hindered.

When I pastored a very small church several years ago, my office was block walled with two windows that were frosted so you couldn't see in (or out). It was like being in prison every day. I began calling it my sensory deprivation chamber. Once you walked in all contact with reality ceased to exist and creativity began to asphyxiate. It was a depressing place. In my time there, I probably only wrote a few messages in that office. Most were written at home with a window (clear) that gave me a view of the world outside. Prayer and planing were better accomplished by driving and finding a quiet spot by the lake.

That's why I love working in the coffee shop. There's people walking in and out. You see the gamut of emotions from happiness to sadness. You hear snippets of conversation that make you laugh and others that make you shake your head. I know everyone is different, but for me it sparks my creativity. Plus, having a nice dark roast of coffee doesn't hurt either.

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Preparing a lesson this morning and came across this thought by C.S. Lewis in his work Mere Christianity. It's worth pondering for a few minutes.

When you come to knowing God, the initiative lies on His side. If He does not show Himself, nothing you can do will enable you to find Him. And, in fact, He shows much more of Himself to some people than to others-not because He has favourites, but because it is impossible for Him to show Himself to a man whose whole mind and character are in the wrong condition. Just as sunlight, though it has no favourites, cannot be reflected in a dusty mirror as clearly as a clean one.

My little two year old boy loves his mommy. He unashamedly loves her. As for me, the love is conditional. If he's in a good mood I might get an "I love you." But let that mood turn bad through tiredness or a host of other factors and he quickly becomes a lover of mommy only. This past Sunday he was riding with me to get our weekly Taco Bell lunch. He loves the ride as he gets to point out where all the fast food restaurants are located. That's scary in and of itself but thats not the focus of this post. As we were riding, I thought I'd test him.

"Hey little guy, do you love daddy?"

With that sweet smile he replied, "yeah, I love mommy."

"No, I asked if you love daddy?"

"Yeah, I love mommy."

This went on for several moments until I realized that I wasn't going to get a response concerning his love for me. Later that afternoon as I lay on the couch, I thought I'd try again.

"Do you love daddy?"

"I love mommy."

Again after several attempts I quit my pointless endeavor. However, before he walked away I had him look me in the eye for one moment and I told him something very simple. I told him I would love him even if he never loved me. Now granted, I comprehend that my little two year old doesn't have a full understanding of love. I even know that he does love me even though he swears undying allegiance to his mommy. Yet, I wanted him to know that my love would always be there whether his love was or not. Perhaps I said it more for myself as I look toward the future.

As I lay there watching him play I was quickly reminded of another father that chose to love even though his children refused to love him back. I was reminded that the Father loved us enough to allow his son to die in our place, even while we were living in open rebellion and hatred against Him. He loves for God is love. I can only speak for myself, but I'm grateful that the Father chose to continue to love me even through the times of my life where I didn't have love for Him. Only by His love was I brought back to a place of loving Him and experiencing His incredible love.

Yesterday's story was the opening to my message on Sunday from the 13th Psalm. I tried to bring out the idea that the Psalm lacks what I would consider a climax (as introductory story). We have David lamenting the fact that it feels like God has abandoned him and that his enemies are going to triumph. The tension builds as David cries out to God for an answer. Without an answer he surely will die and all his enemies will celebrate his demise. All this brings us to the point in the psalm where we want a climax. We want the answer to come, a solution to arise, and the enemy to be defeated. In short, we want God to step into the story and do something.

Yet, God never steps into the story. We're expecting a climatic moment for God's power to be displayed, and what we get is something very anti-climatic. We get nothing. After all the build up, David ends the psalm by declaring that he will continue to trust, rejoice, and sing for God has been good. He goes from complaining that God has forgotten him to singing because God is God, and nothing in the story has changed.

My point I felt was simple to understand, but harder to accept. God can and does still answer prayer. There are climatic points in our lives were we need God to step in and he does just that. However, and I can't explain why, there are other times when God chooses not to step in. Moments where we desperately need God, and he remains silent. The climax of our story doesn't come. When that happens, we're left with a choice. Is faith in God dependent upon him doing things for us, or is it based on belief? Belief that he is God both when he steps into our story and when he chooses not.

Maybe it just resonated with me, but I thought it was a good word.

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The year was 1987. A seventeen year old girl raced down a maze of New York alleys. The area around a wicked slash in her jeans was quickly becoming stained red. The pounding of footsteps and shouts of men pushed her on. She was lost and tired, but if she stopped she was dead. Two wrongs turns and a backtrack brought her into the view of her pursuers. Trying to duck into another alley, she lost her footing on some loose gravel and went tumbling down. She lay on the pavement dazed. Then, without warning, they were there. Rough hands grabbed her and pinned her to the ground. A foot was placed solidly on her neck and pressure slowly began to be applied. She coughed as it became harder to breathe. They had found her and now she was going to die. Through the pain she looked up past the buildings into the night sky and saw the most amazing thing.

Last night in youth I taught from John 14:1-6. We’re in a series that I’m calling “Who Is Jesus?” The answers we are looking for are found in specific instances were Jesus stated. “I am the ...” Last week we looked at “I Am the Vine” and last night was “I Am the Way.”

I know that it’s not considered sensitive to other religions, but Jesus in this passage leaves no wiggle room. He states unequivocally, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:6 NIV). If you believe what Jesus taught (which I do), then he makes it clear that there is only one way to be with God, and that’s him.

To clarify, we don’t make it to heaven by just following Jesus’ teachings, we don’t make it by being a overall good person, we don’t even make it by selling everything we have and working for the oppressed. We make it by having a relationship with “the way.”

As I was in my Bible this morning, my reading brought me to Proverbs 10:29. “The way of the Lord is a refuge for the righteous, but it is the ruin of those who do evil” (NIV). I thought it was fitting. There is no doubt that Christ is a refuge for his people, and sadly for many, he will be the ruin of all that reject him.

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Continuing a thought from yesterday, I really believe that God wants to change things in our lives. In this, sometimes He points out the problem or the change He desires, and then we have to begin working on it. For me it’s my mornings. God wants them. The struggle resides in the fact that I’m a night owl. The hours after 10 PM are my wide awake time of the day. Yet, I’ve sensed for quite some time the need to be awake and spending time with Him early in the morning. I think it’s something that needs changed.

So I’ve prayed and asked the Lord to help me, resolved within myself to actually get up and do it, and finally I got someone to check on me. I’m a big believer in community. We were not created to be lone rangers of faith. We are to help and receive help from other believers. To that end, I decided to do something crazy. I asked for a student volunteer in my youth ministry to check on me, and one of my awesome young ladies said she would do it. For two mornings in a row now, she has called my cell phone as she gets ready for to school to make sure that I am awake. I know that she reads this and I want to say a big “thank you.” I was wondering if she would chicken out but she didn’t. I’m sure calling her youth pastor early in the morning isn’t the most exciting thing in the world, but she’s doing it.

I’m no where near perfect, but I try to model authentic faith to my students. In this situation, I’m hoping that they will see two things. First, that there are always things that God wants to work on in our lives. Second, that we will always need other believers to help us and, in the same breath, we need to be willing to do the same in return.

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Last night in our youth service I taught from John 15:1-8. In it Jesus describes himself as a vine, us as the branches, and God the Father as the gardner. The passage has some serious implications if you ponder the truth that God completely cuts away branches that don’t bear any fruit. Serious implications as these branches are described as then being thrown into the fire.

While I dealt with that, the main emphasis was the second part. We are told that those that bear fruit can expect God to prune their lives so that they can bear even more fruit. I headed to Wikipedia* to learn a little more about pruning. Here’s the relevant portion I found.

“[Pruning] usually entails removal of diseased, damaged, dead, non-productive, or otherwise unwanted tissue from a plant, such as branches, buds, or roots.”

Pruning is getting rid of the all the junk in a plant that hinders it from reaching it’s full potential. I like the two aspects presented. Some of the material removed can be diseased which in turn could destroy the the entire plant. Other items removed may not necessarily be harmful, but definitely not productive.

If we examine our lives, we will find that God is wanting to do the same thing in us. Often times we’ve allowed things into our lives that are harmful. Sometimes it’s things we even enjoy. Yet, if we are to follow Christ we must allow God to prune these things away. In the same vein, sometimes there are things that come into our lives that are not necessarily wrong, but they can begin to consume us. Sometimes God will choose to prune these things out of our lives as well. And, to let you in on a little secret, I don’t think most people enjoy being pruned. It’s hard to hear the Lord’s whisper telling us to change something. It’s hard to have the Lord direct us away from things we enjoy. It’s hard to hear him say “No.”

I guess what it comes down to is an issue of trust. Do we really believe that God knows what’s best? If we really do, we can honestly say, “Even though it hurts Lord, please prune away at the junk in my life.” Not always easy, but so necessary.


*For the intellectual purists I’d like to mention that I know Wikipedia can be hit or miss on the accuracy of their information. While I wouldn’t trust it when writing a thesis, I do trust it enough to gain some insights on a subject as simple as pruning.

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God loves us. A simple phrase that most Christians would readily agree with. I’m not denying it’s true. God does love people. The Bible tells us that he loved us enough to send his son for us. The problem arises when we begin to confuse love and approval. Just because God loves us does not mean he approves of what we do. I see this more and more reflected in my life with my children. I love them. Their hugs and kisses are worth more than gold to me. I love them even when they mess up and do wrong things. My love for them doesn’t change. However, just because I love them does not mean I approve of everything they choose to do. When my daughter lies to me, it cuts deep. I still love her, but I don’t approve.

I think we sometimes need to examine ourselves very closely. We get so comfortable in God’s love that we fail to realize that there are things that we’ve allowed into our lives that don’t please him. He still loves, but he isn’t pleased. Are we willing to be open enough with God that he can begin to point these things out to us? I hope so, because more than anything I want us all to hear, “Well done good and faithful servant.”

I'm currently reading the book "The Dark Foundations." It's the second part of a three part series. I guess the best way to define it would be Christian Science Fiction. It has a nice blend of both technological advancement and theological issues. Even though the author and I have differing eschatologies (he shares his opinions on his web site), there was something that he wrote for one of his characters that struck me.

"Where we are in the great timetable has no real bearing on matters of right and wrong. Every day we're given choices and every day we have to make the right decisions. If I knew the King was returning tomorrow or in ten thousand years' time, it wouldn't alter my choice...we just battle evil until the whistle blows--whenever that is."

I personally believe in a Pre-Tribulation rapture of the church. I would fall into the Christ could return at any moment crowd. Often, we do speak in terms of we should live like Christ is returning tomorrow. However, what if we knew absolutely that Christ wasn't returning for a thousands of years? Would that change how we live? Does right and wrong only exist in a timetable where Christ is coming back soon?

We have been called to live holy lives in Christ. We have been called to do what's right no matter how long Christ chooses to tarry. No matter the number of days that remain for this world, I must make decisions that reflect my Lord.

I had to wait a few days while I got some approval from the leaders in my church, but I can go ahead and post the information now. If all goes well, I’m planning on going to Kenya in late November into December. The details of the trip are still being worked out so I don’t have definite dates just yet.

I got my passport application turned in today and my mind is racing with the various things that I think I might have to do. Granted, the trip isn’t a given yet. There are still a lot of things that have to come together for me to be able to go. I’ll keep moving forward with it and we’ll se what happens.

I have decided to step out in faith and pursue a missions trip opportunity that has been given to me. While I won’t go into details here at this time, I’m excited about it. I’ve started the work to get my passport and I’m already mentally making lists of what I would need. The trip is months and months away, but I want to be ready.

I really believe it could be something that the Lord has for me. I’m praying, pursuing some preliminary steps, and keeping an open heart. I don’t feel any check in my spirit at this time, but I sure want to be open for the Lord to stop me if need be.

At this stage of the game, if I end up not going I’m only out the money for the passport. Of course, I can always use it to go visit Niagara Falls. I know you can see Niagara from the American side, but the Canadian side is much better.

That’s were I’m at and I will post more once things get more set in stone.

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I have decided to step out in faith and pursue a missions trip opportunity that has been given to me. While I won’t go into details here at this time, I’m excited about it. I’ve started the work to get my passport and I’m already mentally making lists of what I would need. The trip is months and months away, but I want to be ready.

I really believe it could be something that the Lord has for me. I’m praying, pursuing some preliminary steps, and keeping an open heart. I don’t feel any check in my spirit at this time, but I sure want to be open for the Lord to stop me if need be.

At this stage of the game, if I end up not going I’m only out the money for the passport. Of course, I can always use it to go visit Niagara Falls. I know you can see Niagara from the American side, but the Canadian side is much better.

That’s were I’m at and I will post more once things get more set in stone.

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I was talking with a good friend today about the journey. That road that we are on to eternity. We were talking about how life seems so full of pain. Pain that seems overwhelming at times.

It is difficult at times to really hold on to the fact that the pains of this life one day will pass away. We suffer now, often unjustly, but in the end eternity with God will wipe away all the pains.

Our task is simple. We hold on. No matter what happens. No matter the cost. It’s the theme that I’ve been trying to drill into the head of my youth (and myself) this year.

Whatever It Takes.

That’s my prayer for anyone that reads this. I pray that you will do whatever it takes to spend eternity with God.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Hebrews 12:1

My pastor preached a message last night on praying for the power. The book of Acts is a book that is drenched with God’s power. We see a small group of people that completely changed the world. Not because of their own wisdom or creativity, but because God was at work in them.

So often it feels like we pray for God to bless our ideas and plans instead of taking the time to seek Him and allow Him to fill us with his power. What would happen if God’s people would humbly begin to pray and seek Him? What if the power we see displayed in Acts was once again displayed for the market places of our world to see? What if healings began to take place at Starbucks? What if demons that had controlled and tormented some people for years were cast out? What if our walk with Christ reflected what we see in Scripture?

It’s beginning to stir my heart. It’s time to stop talking about the power of God. It’s time to draw close enough for the power of God to begin working in and through us.

Today is an amazing day and I can literally feel a change in my emotions. Just over one week ago we were still digging out after the worst snowstorm of the season. Today, the windows of my house are all open and the fresh air smells amazing. I don’t even know how to describe the scent of fresh air. Does it even have a scent? All I know is that a little change in the weather can do incredible things in us.

We are connected to God’s creation in ways that we don’t understand. I see this exemplified even in the tiny fact that a lot of the vitamin D our bodies need comes from the sun. We were designed by God to synthesize vitamin D when our skin is exposed the ultraviolet rays from the sun. While we now understand this one, I think there are millions of more ways that we are connected to creation without even knowing it.

Sin has done so much to mar what God intended. We can hardly even fathom the simple thought of lions and lambs frolicking and playing together. We can barely comprehend total and lasting peace. Yet, it was the original design of creation. This world is cursed because of sin, but it stirs up something in my soul to think that God is working to bring everything back to what it created to be.

I think the hardest thing in being a follower of Christ is watching people you care about and love begin to turn away from the Lord. To watch that fire begin to burn down. To watch good decisions be replaced with poor choices. As a youth minister, I feel pain as I run the list of students I’ve ministered to over in my head. Ones that I tried my best to show the love of Christ to but then watched them reject it. Students that came for a time, accepted Christ, and then disappeared never to be seen again. Even with students that I have now, I wonder deep inside if they are really trusting in Jesus for everything, or is he simply a part of the cultural heritage.

I think it hurts so much because I really do believe in heaven and hell. Last night at youth service I mentioned how the Lord will “wipe every tear from their eyes” (Revelation 21:4). Often we hear that there will be no tears in heaven, yet for at least a time there will be tears before they are forever wiped away. I have a feeling that a lot of the tears will be shed for those that we loved that chose not to make it; those that chose to walk away. To be in such a perfect place and to have the realization of what many people we cared about are experiencing. Heaven would be eternal weeping if Christ didn’t step and wipe the tears away.

Where does that leave us now? For me, I’ll keep loving and ministering through the good and the bad. Hopefully, some that I minister to will really grab hold of Christ and not let go. For others that I’ve ministered to down through the years, I have to trust that I’ve planted spiritual seeds that I hope will bear fruit later. And sadly, I have to realize that some will choose to live out Christ’s words in Matthew 7:13-14.

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”

Read the book “Not The Religious Type” by Dave Schmelzer recently. Had some really good thoughts that really sparked my mind. I like a book that does that. Most of my thoughts have been revolving around the way we view Christianity. Is it a bubble or a journey. It really seems that many people view it as a bubble. Once you accept Christ you are in that bubble. As long as you stay in the bubble you are good. The problem that I see is that the bubble ends up being the destination. Instead of pursuing a deeper relationship with Christ, we find ourselves satisfied that we are in the bubble. As I look at people I’ve seen accept Christ and then drift away, I wonder if this was the case. Accepting Christ was the end of the road instead of being what it really is, the start of a relationship with the living Lord. The start of an incredible adventure. More later.

My pastor had a great quote this past Sunday. I tried to jot it down after the fact, but I know what I’m writing is a paraphrase at best.

“People spend a lot of time preparing to celebrate Christ’s first coming, and often spend so little time preparing for his second coming.”

May your Christmas celebrations tonight and tomorrow be filled with Christ’s presence and the knowledge that his return is getting closer than ever.

About 45 minutes ago I finished my lunch. The box proclaimed it was delicious General Tso’s Chicken with rice. I bought it at Save-A-Lot, a local generics store similar to Aldi’s. I’ll admit that it surprised me. It wasn’t terrible. I’d actually buy it again someday. Even though it was okay, in no way can it be compared to good General Tso’s from a Chinese restaurant. Crispy chicken, extremely spicy sauce, fluffy white rice, and bright green steamed broccoli is how it’s supposed to be done.

Now that wonderful spiritual leap. I have to ask how often we settle for just “okay” in our walk with Christ? Do we feel okay as long as our walk resembles at least a little the deep relationship we really should have with our Lord? Sometimes we prefer Microwave Christianity because it’s a thousand times simpler and cheaper than having the authentic item.

Real faith will always cost something.

An incredible passage of Scripture is found in Genesis 32. Jacob his heading back to meet his brother after years of being away. The brother that he schemed against and cheated. He’s rightfully nervous. He sends lavish gifts ahead of him to soften his brother’s heart. Then, in the midst of this story, we are told that Jacob was alone and a man came and wrestled with him all night. Later, Jacob recounts that he had seen God and face to face yet his life was spared. Jacob wrestled with God.

The crazy thing is that God allowed Jacob to wrestle with Him. God could have just blessed him. God could have just changed his name in another way. Yet, I think God wanted to see Jacob wrestle. By that I mean this, God wanted to know if Jacob wanted God more than anything. Was Jacob willing to pay a price to have all that God wanted for him?

It speaks to me because it feels like a lot of people simply want God’s blessing and aren’t willing to “wrestle” with Him to get it. Their Christian walk is practically devoid of God, yet they expect to have His blessing. God wants people that are willing to wrestle in prayer. God wants people that will wrestle with His Word. If you haven’t come across something in the Word that challenges you, convicts you, confuses you, or even angers you, maybe you’re not really wrestling with God.

Is it worth it? I believe so. It may be painful, it may be hard, and He might even throw our hip out of joint, but in the end we will find ourselves closer to God.

I think the hardest thing about heading away on a retreat is the fact that you have to come back to reality. Life and the enemy are relentless in their combined purpose to strip away all the good that God accomplishes. I know some of my youth are already battling this with mixed success. To those of them that read this I have one thing to say. Don’t let go of what God did in your life. No matter what happens, no matter what others may say, and even if the power of that moment with God begins to fade a little in in your mind, don’t let go. I was there. I witnessed God doing some powerful things. Continue allowing him to work.

Maybe a message tailored more to my youth, but it holds true for all of us.

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No matter who gets elected on Tuesday, there will surely be at least three reactions. The first will be smug pride in the fact that a certain candidate won. The second will be dread fear that everything is going to now fall apart. Let me stop there a moment. Neither one of these reactions is fitting for a believer. Will we praise our victory while stomping on those that didn’t agree with us? Are we ever 100% certain our candidate is the best? It’s arrogant and if we’re not careful, our political views may taint our ability to minister to those around us. As for fear of the elected, doesn’t the Word declare that, “perfect loves casts out fear?” (1 John 4:18) Why should we fear when eternity has been completely secured for us by Jesus? I don’t think we need to fear.

I guess what it ultimately boils down to is that I’m a citizen of the kingdom of God first. Those that are a part of this kingdom know peace even amidst the turmoil of the world. That’s where the third reaction comes in. The one that I want to live. Acknowledgment of the winner, a commitment to pray for him, and continuing on with the mission Christ has laid before me. Maybe that sounds simplistic. It probably is, but it’s what I’m going to do my best to live. I guess I feel this way because I don’t believe the government can legislate righteousness no matter which party controls it. Faith can’t be forced. I’m not looking for the President to reach the hurting around me, that’s why God has placed me where I am. Congress will never introduce my neighbors to Christ, but perhaps I can. Government can be good, but we should never expect it to take the place of what God has called us to do.

Tomorrow I will vote for the one that I feel is the better of the two choices. Then, I will continue the mission.

Spoke yesterday on “chara” or joy. Doing just a little light surface Greek studying brought me to the definition “calm delight.” So often I’ve viewed joy as being happiness on some sort of stimulant. A God induced hyper happiness that seemed impossible to maintain. The fact is that it’s not that at all. Instead, it’s that deep peaceful knowledge that God has all things under control and that one day all things will be made right. In the midst of ever changing circumstance joy can still abound. I like the idea of calm delight.

I was scouting out the local park to see what it provided for an upcoming outreach when I felt the Spirit prompt me to check out the local fire station. It’s a small volunteer station. I knew where it was at, had glanced its way once some time in the past, and that was about it. It sits hidden on the edge of town.

I made a pass by and noticed what looked like some bleachers sitting behind it. That was interesting. Maybe they use them at certain events or training exercises. I decided to investigate. As I drew near, I discovered that the bleachers were permanent, and that they faced a small arena situated down below. There’s even a press box with loudspeakers. I really have no clue what the place is. My best guess is horses and maybe rodeo. It’s all overgrown and hasn’t been used for some time, but it got my mind rolling and my spirit wondering. What could God use a location like that for?

I’ve been praying for Divine appointments and doing my best to “chase the goose,” Now I’m seriously asking “Lord do have something for that old arena in our small town? Did you lead me there for a reason?” No answers yet, bet the journey will hopefully prove interesting.

Had another powerful service this morning. Pastor spoke on Zechariah 4:6.

“Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty.”

More and more it seems a lot of people I know are feeling that God is really getting ready to do something powerful. Not just in our church, but in a lot of churches. The limiting factor really seems to be us. We are the dam that is holding back that power. It’s time to humble our hearts and allow God to have his rightful place. No longer should we make God a part of our lives. God must become our lives.

Not always easy in a culture that provides us with a million and one things to take our attention off the Father.

Prov. 16:2 All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord.

I came across this verse a couple of weeks ago in my devotions and it has just been hammering me ever since. I sadly realize how much stock I put in my own opinion. How easily I paint over my faults and failures with a stroke of “I know I’m doing what’s right.” How often do we loudly proclaim our actions are of the purest intent, when deep down inside they really might be suspect?

I love my Lord and I know he loves me. Yet, I will still give an account of my life before him. Will things like my works which I consider pure and holy, be burned up because my motives were wrong? Do I want to reach my neighbor out of love or so I can have a good illustration and something to blog about?

Just something to pray about.

I’m coming to the conclusion that all people want is a sugar coated gospel. Anything with a sugar coating is bound to taste better. People want the easy stuff, but don’t want to be confronted with the hard passages of truth in God’s Word. Just last night in youth I mentioned 2 Timothy 3:12. It says,

“In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.”

Not a pleasant thought, but it’s in the Word of God. It’s a hard truth and people sitting in churches need to know it. Things are not going to get better in this world. Utopia isn’t around the corner. Trials and tribulations are going to increase in these last days and God’s people need to expect that bad things are going to happen on an ever increasing scale. A little pessimistic you may ask? No, I’m a Bible realist with an eternal optimism.

No more sugar coating. We need those Christians that have been Christians for years with no growth to begin to mature in their faith. It’s time to move past the sugar coated gospel.

After listening to a missionary last week, my heart has been dwelling on the idea of sacrifice. Mainly, what would I be willing to sacrifice so that God's kingdom can continue to grow and advance? It's a heavy question. Not one to be answered lightly. Yet, it's something we as believer's need to ask ourselves.

We had a really great youth service this past Tuesday. God's presence was very special. Worship flowed into a time of prayer and seeking his face. As it often is, several youth talked with us afterward because they didn't feel anything. You could see it their eyes that they desperately wanted to feel God, but there seemed to be nothing. This is part of the growing up process. Realizing that there are going to be times throughout life were God feels close while at other times he feels far away. More importantly, it's coming to realization that faith isn't based on feelings. Yes, I love a service were you can feel God's presence. The question though is my belief in God based on those feelings? It can't be. Feelings change and are constantly being affected by things around us. My faith says that God is with me and for me no matter what my feelings may be.

I'm not advocating that we remove feelings from our spiritual lives. We are emotional creations and cannot and should not divorce ourselves from them. Yet, at the same time we must learn to trust past what we feel. God is good when we feel His incredible presence. God is also still good when we don't feel Him.

I came to the coffee shop this morning. Thanks to my now having high speed internet at home, my coffee shop time no longer has to be a mad dash to update software and download various related youth items. For two weeks now I've had the luxury of drinking coffee and reading. Not even on a computer. Take note of that. I'm talking actual books. It's been wonderful.

As I sat down today, I took a long sip of my coffee. It tasted extremely good. It's hard to describe how good it tasted. For those that like a good cup of java, you what it's like when you taste good coffee. I stopped right then and there and thanked God for good coffee. I thanked Him for allowing me to be able to taste and experience it. God is so good and created us to enjoy life. Why would God design us with the ability to taste and enjoy such a wide range of flavors if it wasn't intended for our enjoyment? A cup of coffee is a simple thing, but I want to be a person that is willing to thank God even for the "simple" things.

Thought I would do something completely different today. I'm going to post a short story I wrote awhile ago. I was cleaning up some files and came across it and thought why not. So grab a warm cup of coffee and sit back. It's story time.


It was the click of the hammer being pulled backed that alerted me to his presence and pure instinct that pushed me off the ground and through the open door. Three small explosions awoke the silence as agents of death whistled their way past my ear. Run. Don’t look back; don’t slow down. Just run. One hall and one turn brought me to the stairwell. I tumbled into it as the fourth explosion reigned glass down upon me. He was still a lousy shot, but he was persistent.

As my feet mechanically began pumping down the stairs, my hand reached under my jacket. My revolver was there and with a slight shift and tug it came out in my hand. My body moved. It may not have been graceful, but it was leading me away. How many times? How many times had he found me? Too many. Another explosion roared overhead. He was pursuing. He always pursued.

My flight quickened but my mind disconnected. Was it just last month? Thirty measly days ago that I had drawn a bead on his miserable black heart and fired? Hadn’t he fallen before taking even one more step? I had been sure of victory. No more running. Yet, he had returned after Florida. He had survived the firefight in Indianapolis. And somehow, he still lived after I killed him in Denver. Even though I knew he was dead, the current evidence proved contrary.

A noise behind awoke my mind and triggered my reflexes. I spun bringing the .357 up. Two quick pulls from my finger added to the calamity. The tell tale sound of a ricochet reverberated in my ears followed by a muffled grunt. The bullet may have found its mark, but the pounding on the stairs above my head let me know that it hadn’t finished the job. How many more stairs? How many more opportunities for him to take me out?
        
My lungs burned as my mind drifted again. We had been best friends once. Everything we did had always been done together. We were inseparable. But I had changed. I was no longer the same and every day confirmed this. Yeah, there had been those that celebrated with me, but others had turned against me. And now, one wanted to kill me. Fair’s fair I guess. I had killed him first, or so I thought. Once again the situation testified to his resilience. When you kill a man shouldn’t he remain dead? Do you have to kill him again and again?
        
A misstep caused me to take the last four steps as one. Pain flashed through my ankle for a brief moment before being numbed. If I survived, I would surely experience it more fully later. The ground floor door materialized and I barged through. I took five long strides before turning around and dropping to one knee. The sound of pounding stairs was loud in my ears. I slowly lifted my gun. I aimed right for the middle of the door. A bead of sweat rolled down my face as I prepared myself.
        
With a roar the door flung open and I stepped out. My gun wavered for a brief second as it usually did when confronting myself. A guttural sound came from his throat. “Enough of this. You can’t change. Nobody can. Open wide the mouth of grave and let us now enter in.” He put his empty hand out in a gesture of friendship. Palm up as if he wanted me to reach out and take it with mine.
        
With finger on trigger I froze. Had I changed? Can a man really have the sins of the past forgotten? Can sure judgment be traded for sure life? Had the struggles and battles to hold onto this change been worth it?
        
I looked over at myself. He smiled. It wasn’t pleasant. He always took delight from my thoughts and doubts.
        
That moment sealed it again. I believed it. Hot blood had covered a wooden cross. Pure blood of a holy son. The power wherein to wash the past away. The power to bring change. The power to make my friends my enemies. And within the change, the creation of my old man. The man I once was.
         
With peace, I looked my old sin man in the eye. “I want you dead and I don’t want you to return.” I pulled the trigger.
        
As I walked out the door I thought of Florida, Indianapolis, and Denver. Major battles every one of them. Each an opportunity to return to my old life. All three times I had resisted. All three times I had sent my old man back to the ground. Tonight, I had done it again. Was he dead? Absolutely yes. Would he return and try again? Most likely. I would be ready though. I would be ready.

Today is the Christian holiday Good Friday. What make it so good?

Matt. 27:28-29
They stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on his head. They put a staff in his right hand and knelt in front of him and mocked him. “Hail, king of the Jews!” they said.

Matt. 27:30
They spit on him, and took the staff and struck him on the head again and again.

John 19:17-18
Carrying his own cross, he went out to the place of the Skull (which in Aramaic is called Golgotha). Here they crucified him, and with him two others—one on each side and Jesus in the middle.

Mark 15:37
With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last.

When you think about it, this was not a good day for Christ. In fact, it was the most horrific day ever. Yet, it's so good because of what it did for us. It secured our salvation. It paid the price that we owed. Thinking on my own life, I realize just much I needed that sacrifice. Take a minute today to remember what Christ did for each one of us.

One of the saddest things I see as a youth pastor are youth that once loved the Lord grow indifferent. It's not that they totally reject God, they just really don't care anymore. Yeah, they still show up. They can still talk about God. Yet, you watch them and see that there's simply nothing there. No substance behind the talk. This problem isn't limited to youth either. It cuts out your heart though watching it happen. There's not much you can even say because again, they just don't care.

Not much more to say. It is weighing heavy on me though.

I'm writing this with approximately ten minutes left in the third quarter. The score is currently 24 to 10. Not looking good for my Buckeyes. But, thankfully my life isn't built upon football. I really enjoy watching it and the Bucks are my favorite team, but it doesn't consume me. That's why in a few minutes I will go to bed with the game still on. I'll go to sleep without knowing the outcome (well, sadly I think I know the outcome already). My life has more importance than a game.

Great, as I write this OSU just gave up another touchdown. Stupid Buckeyes. They couldn't play their way out of a wet paper...oh yeah, it's just a game. Looks like I'll be saying that for another year.